I'm an eater

I am an eater. I am not one of those girls who say, "Oh, I forgot to eat lunch today." My stomach won't allow that to happen. It's too conditioned to have food in it. I think I am an emotional eater. Not in a bad way, like eating when I'm upset. I'm actually not hungry at all when I'm upset. But, I love comfort food. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm enjoying the company of good friends. I eat when I'm watching a good movie. I eat certain meals to remind me of my childhood, or of lost grandparents. I eat with my children as a way to spend time with them. I eat larger portions than I should, and sometimes I feel ashamed about that...but I do it, anyway.

I am a cook. I spent over 15 years cooking in restaurants before I became a nurse. Not only am I a good cook, but I like to cook to show people I love them. I feel that the effort I put into planning a meal, shopping, cleaning and setting up the house, and serving meals to people shows them that I care about them. My favorite people to cook for are my kids, particularly my oldest when he comes home from college. I miss him so much when he's gone, I pamper the heck out of him when he comes home. And that revolves around two things: cleaning up after him, and cooking him whatever he wants. Sometimes, it's as simple as making him a grilled cheese sandwich. And when he asks me to cut it in into triangles, my heart melts, and I see him as that wide-eyed two year old who's afternoon highlight was eating triangles.

I'm home alone a lot more now that the kids are older. I don't always cook a full meal when it's just me, but sometimes I do. A few months ago, I prepared a filet mignon, medium rare, with scalloped potatoes...just for me. It was my "me" night: a night to treat myself. I chose a good movie, sat down on the couch to eat my meal, and the darn smoke detector kept chirping because of a dead battery. And of course, it's located in the loft ceiling area above the stairs, so I couldn't reach it. I ended up bashing it with a broom to get it to shut up. So, while the food was excellent, I didn't enjoy it, because I was frustrated. Funny how a stupid little chirping machine can ruin a good meal. I guess it just goes to show that a meal is more than just about food. It's an experience.